1. |
I
04:17
|
|||
she knew where to find me
“I want you to know
it was nothing you did”
then I said some things
silly things
…
outside
I put my hood up
and walked home
in the rain
|
||||
2. |
II
02:50
|
|||
no lights are on
when I get home
I don’t turn them on
sit on Derek’s fuzzy red chair
and wait for him to come home
I haven’t had a drink in six months
“hello,” he says to me
“I need a drink,” I say to him
|
||||
3. |
III
02:37
|
|||
sitting silently later
sipping beer
the apartment
is dark and empty
just me and the cockroaches
they look like
they are staring a family
or founding a nation
in some bold, undiscovered country
|
||||
4. |
IV
03:18
|
|||
in my dresser
there is a black leather bag
full of medicine
old allergy capsules
from high school
Maxidone from when
I had my wisdom teeth out
Famotidine I never take
blister packs
of the Zonegran
that only made me worse
I’ve been building
this collection
for years
and for a reason
(if only unconsciously)
I’ve been building
this collection
for years
and for a reason
but I’m not there yet
|
||||
5. |
V & VI
04:14
|
|||
V
a couple minutes
the next morning
laying on the bare mattress
before I remember
what’s happened
meds on the dresser
empty bottles in the recycling
I think I’ve had a seizure
while I was asleep
I can see the evidence
bourn in my quacking limbs
and in the stabbing brightness
of the morning Sun
another wasted day
I wander back home
hours later
and soaked to the bone
make some tuna for dinner
as the setting Sun
hides its light from me.
VI
Cam comes down the stairs
|
||||
6. |
VII
02:41
|
|||
we walk
and smoke
beneath our
umbrellas
while talking
about her
and when my
lighter breaks
I throw it
on the ground
|
||||
7. |
VIII
02:51
|
|||
that night
I got up
and punched a hole
in the wall
|
dunnock Berkeley, California
depressive, atmospheric, atonal black metal from the bay area.
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